


As Shadows Fade

by UmiHoshi



Category: Litchi Hikari Club | Lychee Light Club
Genre: After Story, F/M, tagwarning cuz mention of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 23:00:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5720176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UmiHoshi/pseuds/UmiHoshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the horrible events of the Litchi Hikari Club, Kanon vows to herself to find the truth, as to always remember and to not forget about her dear friend, Litchi.<br/>But there's no one left who knows the truth..... or is there?</p>
            </blockquote>





	As Shadows Fade

**Author's Note:**

> I'm rather worried not to finish this one, cuz I've been quite invested.  
> it's a little fandom with little things to go by. and a ship not a lot of people consider, hahah.  
> but since the movie is on it's way and the musical was screened in Japan, I thought now was a good time to upload the first part.

_“You’ll get killed!!”_  
 _“Girl number one.”                        “Litchi!”_  
 _“Execution!”                “Am I not beautiful too?”_  
 _“la-la-la-litchi~”                “ka….ka…non….”_  
  
 _“Always together….”_  
  
My stomach twitches and turns every time I am watching. And yet, I can't stop myself.  
If I won’t watch now, sooner or later it will all be forgotten.  
That’s how humans work after all. It’s a surprise how easily life goes on, in both good and bad times.  
That’s why I keep watching. So for me, life wouldn’t just ‘go on’.  
So that I’d always remember you, Litchi.  
 

This me who has witnessed these events from so close by, tried to take in all the details they dared to show.  
But it couldn’t amount to what it had felt like, how creepy it realy seemed, standing there.

A nasty, rusty smell of blood, organs, burned flesh and puke.  
Sizzling of steam, running water.  
Formless and lifeless lumps, that were once human.  
the pressure on my lungs from drowning.  
the buzzing of my ears as sadistic laughter still resound.  
A sweet, unfitting, scent of roses…..  
….My dearest friend laying on the ground….  
  
I watched the late night news on purpose. They wouldn’t show the scene during day.  
It was all too shocking, too grotesque.  
Then again, what’s still shocking in Keiko city?

I agree though. What happened there was really too weird. I still don’t get it myself either…  
To the world, the death of these 9 children will surely remain a mystery.  
I won't tell what happened either. It’s probably better if no one knows.  
It’s not like it would change anything.  
They’re still dead, having reaped what they saw.  
These kids who thought they could handle the world. Ambitiously, almost careless.  
Live was like a game to them. A game they wanted to make more interesting.  
They really knew nothing.  
……

I watched the faces of their parents closely. One by one, grim looks of people who had seemed to have aged at least 10 years over the past few days.  
Powerless, wronged, at a loss…

Raizou's parents seem like nice people.  
They looked like they regretted not knowing their son...daughter? 'child' well enough. How Raizou could have ended like this….

Jacob’s were the same. His mother cried a lot. He must’ve been a real momma’s boy…

Kaneda-kun’s parents were there too, even though he had died earlier.  
He had been close with Tamiya, afterall.

I remember him muttering Tamiya’s name almost begging before he died.  
I wonder if his parents would realize his death is connected aswell…

I noticed the parents of the boy who reminded me of a witch, Jaibo, weren’t there.  
Then again, that wasn’t too weird. There was barely anything left of him to recognize.  
A pool of blood and debris. Some teeth. A limb. Squished eyeballs that had popped out of his head.  
They didn’t show that, of course.  
It wasn’t enough to recognize him and inform anyone, even less then with Raizou.  
He didn’t have any form of ID on him either…  
Though. With his personality, maybe his family might not even want to come?

Zera’s…. Tsunagawa Hiroyuki’s mother and his younger brother were there, surprisingly.  
But…. They almost seemed unfazed by anything that had happened.  
They were nearly relieved he was no longer with them.  
‘Such cold people….’  
I can see where the gene pool went wrong.  
  
Ah. They’re showing Tamiya-kun.  
…..  
Nico had collapsed right beside him. His lifeless hand rested on Tamiya-kun’s.  
Ironically….  
Nico didn’t seem to care one bit about Tamiya-kun.  
Even though he cried so hard over him…  
They might have been really good friends.  
If it hadn’t been for ‘him’….

For a moment, I looked away and rubbed my wrist, biting my lip.  
The feeling of that creep’s hand won’t leave any time soon, I guess….

But then, the screen pulled my attention far too easily again.  
Amidst the drenched children, there was something…  
‘Someone’.  
They showed Litchi…  
Writing him off as metal junk, they concluded he may have caught fire and caused an explosion, which killed everyone.  
They blamed Litchi….  
So that was the ‘truth’ that the world will know about the Hikari Club, huh?  
It’s a theory that rattles from every side. But no one wanted to believe their own child was at fault.

For a moment, I felt like one of those parents.  
Helpless and sick. As if a part of myself had been stolen away.  
‘It’s not like that. Litchi had nothing to do with it!’  
I wanted to shout that. But no one would hear me out on it anyway.  
There was none who could hear me. Who could understand what happened.  
………no one….  
…….

Without Jaibo’s, there should be 8 sets of parents….  
but. Wait… There weren’t….  
Almost as if it was something I had really wanted to forget all about,  
I remembered that one boy…  
Who was like a scapegoat, the first sparks of the misery in the deserted factory.

For the act of letting the 3 other girls go and for assaulting me, he had been shot down by Tamiya-kun.  
‘ Eye patch boy….Dafu.’  
What happened to him anyway?

I remember Tamiya was forced to shoot. But after that, the tall teen had rushed off while holding on to him.  
…could  
….it couldn’t be?  
Right?....  
  
\-----  
      
Seeing such white sterile walls all around was an ironic contrast to the dirty town it laid in.  
I still wondered what got me to come here.  
Do I even want to see him? Wouldn’t really say I got fond memories of him, of Tabuse ‘Dafu’ Katsuya.  
But he didn’t deserve what he got. Not in this amount.  
Who were they to decide over life and death anyway?  
The least I can do is telling him what happened to his friends.  
Even if there’s nearly no chance that he will hear me…

He was more dead than alive. Having incurable brain damage, not being able to survive for a moment without tons of machines attached to him.  
But…  
If there’s a chance that maybe if he can talk eventually…. He’s the only one who can tell me more about Litchi.  
And I’m the only one who can tell him about the demise of the hikari club.

His family was in the room as well, so I entered quietly.  
They seemed like very normal, modest people.  
Dafu was an only child.  
Having this happen to their only son must have been a shock  
They were talking to him, somehow hoping to get something of a reaction.  
The boy’s eyes were open, but focused on nothing, remaining ever still, staring intensely at the ceiling.

His eye patch was taken off. It was almost weird to see him without.  
His one covered eye was something like a trademark, after all.

The last few days had been difficult for his mom and dad. Even more than the ones before it.  
How were they to tell their son that his friends were all dead?

“Katsuya? Katsuya, can you hear me?”  
Of course, he didn’t reply. His mother’s voice sound as if she knew so by now as well.  
“Katsuya. About Hiroshi-kun and Riku-kun… that is, well…”  
His father started. It was difficult, of course. They wanted to believe he could at least hear them, even if he can’t reply.  
But at the same time, they would so much rather spare him from knowing there was little for him to return to.

I stared upon the scene, the same way how I saw the news on the television.  
As if I’m not really part of this world, happening in front of me.  
Like a screen separates us and I can only watch over something I have no deciding in.  
But this was my reality.  
If I wanted, I could just reach into that scene and-…

“Dafu.” My voice sounded, as if it was someone else’s.  
The patient’s parents turned to me, as if only now realizing I was there.  
It seems like they didn’t know of their son’s nickname.  
But I couldn’t stop now that I had spoken up.  
“Tamiya died…”  
I spoke rather matter-of-factly, almost nonchalant.  
Most people would probably think it’s cruel. I’m no good at wrapping my words in pretty things.  
If you want to say something, just say it, right?

Both held their breathes, hearing me say what had been so difficult for them to speak of.  
His dad would have probably gotten angry with me, if it wasn’t for his mom gasping, looking at her son to see—

Dafu’s pupils had moved. That was really the only sign.  
But it was a sign.  
They pierced straight at me, still unfocused as if looking right through me.  
His eyes were mellow and almost warm. Not anxious and panicked like the ones I had seen from far too close before.  
It gave me a most eerie feeling.  
A feeling I had assumed not to feel at all, when heading for this hospital room:  
'He's just a kid.'  
.......

I backed off and my hand unconsciously clung on to something I had in my hand.  
A piece of fabric, dried and hardened.  
a glove.  
Not just any glove.  
A glove that was more reddish-brown then white, with a black star on its back.

When I had run off from the factory, I found it in my pocket, not even remembering when I had taken it.  
Or WHY I had taken it....  
It was disgusting....

gripping it once more, as tightly as I grit my teeth, I paced forward and laid, almost SLAPPED, it on top of his bed.  
"Do you realize what that means?  
Do you realize why this happened??  
They died!  
They can't ever come back...."  
My voice slowly turned from trying not to shout, into having to force myself to be audible.  
My throat was burning.  
Telling these things to Dafu felt like telling them to myself as well. This was the first time I heard myself say these words.  
And they felt so much more real, pronouncing them.  
Trying to muster some strength back, I looked straight at him. My brows knitted in a bitter frown.

"...But you can!  
You're the only one who can still live on for their sake.  
so....."  
'So don't give up'? 'come back'? 'repent for what you did'?  
I can't say any of those pretentious words....  
I don't really know what I want myself.  
Ideally, I want Litchi back. But that's not going to happen.  
I don't know....

I sighed deep and straightened my back.  
"I'll come back again some other time..."  
I spoke rather calm and turned off to leave the room, leaving 2 baffled parents and a boy that was still staring after me.  
  
\----  
  
I had said I’d come back on a whim. It wasn’t like I wanted or planned anything of the likes.  
What would it have for use anyway?  
For now, I just wanted to get as far away from that place.  
But it was little use.

The fuming high chimneys left smoke and ash throughout the entire city.  
The sun was hardly ever visible. The seawater was polluted as well.  
There was no chattering of children. No cats that looked like they had an owner.  
No smells of dinner being prepared in the late afternoon.  
Weary faces of adults who lived for their work.  
This place… this place was like the heart of the Hikari Club and what had become of it…

I halted my pace…  
unconsciously, I had ended up here again.  
Their play garden, where adults couldn’t interfere.  
It seemed the same as it had always been,  
this factory, particularly blackened and rusty.  
But something was different.

I saw someone walk in my direction.  
Where… have I seen him before?  
An indifferent expression, not paying attention to the surrounding, like he didn’t even know what had happened here just last week.

“You’re…”I spoke. He stopped, as if he had only now noticed I existed.  
I closed my lips for a second, considering, before opening them again: “You’re… Tsunekawa-kun’s little brother, right?”  
His brows furrowed disturbed.  
He looked like one would describe as a ‘snotty brat’.  
Short bristle hair, no way near as slick as Zera’s had been. Googley eyes. A Slow and dumb expression.  
Honestly, if I hadn’t seen him on the news, I wouldn’t have ever guessed they were even remotely related.

“I’ve got no brother.” He replied, unfazed. His face showed all over that he was lying, though.  
But why would he lie about something like that?  
His mother didn’t seem to care either.  
And where had Zera’s father been?

“I see. It’s just that I saw you on the TV.” With that, I was pretty much ready to walk on.  
The look on the kid’s face though, was as if he believed to be famous now that he had been on TV once.  
“You’re Yuki’s girlfriend?”  
Suddenly, he seemed more willingly to admit being related.  
I swallowed back the disgusting taste of just thinking about something utterly gross like that.  
“…y….yes, I was…”  
I bit my tongue. Iew! Definitely not! Not if he were the last person on this planet.  
Besides, Zera was probably not capable of something like keeping a proper relationship.  
But how else was I to explain the twisted connection I had to him?  
Saying this might get the other to talk… It did have me piqued how Zera seemed like an alien to his own sibling.

“Since he’s gone, you wanna be my girlfriend?” He other grinned dumb. And I really don’t know which idea crept me out more.  
“uhm… hey boy. I noticed your father wasn’t with you on the tv. Was he at work?”  
His expression fell back to the glassy thickness of before.  
“My dad ain’t here. We moved away.” Seemed like he didn’t want to say anything more about it. But it visually bothered him.  
He must be a pretty emotional boy.  
but that made their lack of interest all the stranger….

“Hey lady. You’re better off without him, you know? He was a weirdo. Mum says he’s just like dad and doesn’t care about anyone.  
So be my girlfriend, okay?”  
As if he believed I already agreed, he grinned and ran off waving, slowing down and picking his nose soon after.  
Honestly… them both being repulsive was the only thing they held in common.  
There was not the smallest reflection of the sadistic, paranoid but genius dictator.  
Zera took more after his dad, huh?  
He must’ve felt left out….

I felt even worse than I did before, pondering about Tsunekawa Hiroyuki’s family situation.  
It would be so easy to blame it all on Zera…  
In the end, it was all his plan and he acted like a huge jerk to people who trusted him.  
But he was just a victim of circumstances as well.  
He knew nothing better but to believe his own righteousness. If you tell a child that black is white and white is black, they will never stop believing that.  
In the end he too, is a product of this blackened city, where light doesn’t reach.

Doesn’t reach…..  
Hikari Club….  
Light….  
It felt like I was nearly about to understand something important.  
But it just wouldn’t come.  
I missed a few parts of the truth.  
And finding those was near impossible….  
There’s only one person left who still holds those answers.  
“ ‘I’ll come back later’….was it?”  
  
\---

The second time I visited, Dafu’s parents weren’t around.  
He was lying alone, almost miserably on a hospital bed.  
The hospital workers paid no attention to him. He was nothing more than a cultivated vegetable, after all.  
The white room was cold and felt ghostly deserted as I sat by the comatosed boy’s bed,  
the only sounds being the ticking of a clock competing against the beeping of a heart meter.

There was little I really felt like saying.  
Not so much because I knew he wouldn’t reply, or because I considered what I should and shouldn’t tell him.  
Not particular feeling anxious over the staff overhearing me either.  
I really just couldn’t come up with anything I wanted to say….  
…So why had I come back?  
  
2 weeks had passed now. But whenever I closed my eyes, I relived that terrible time again.  
Surrounded. Not able of escaping.  
Having seen more than one person die in front of my eyes.  
Held forcibly in a basin filled with water and roses.  
Only one thought could protect me from those nasty memories:  
The memory of clinging on tightly to Litchi.  
The warmth of his engine seeped through to his skin. Gentle and pleasant.  
So much warmer than anyone who had touched me in that dark basement.  
But that warmth…  
  
I don’t know how exactly, but all the club members had worked on making Litchi, right?  
like how Dentaku had given him a heart and Niko his eye.  
So surely, things about them would reflect back in Litchi.  
That has to be why…  
Litchi’s warm touch feels so similar to that look in Dafu’s eyes…  
  
His eyes were once more unfocused, staring at the ceiling.  
I guess that even rolling your eyes is a muscle that gets strained and rolls back automatically over time.  
It might be the same as how people’s muscles strain into a smile once they are dead?  
  
But none the less, I somehow felt the same warmth in this room. I felt more at ease.  
The unpleasant memories didn’t haunt me as much when here.  
Strange, isn’t it? Usually, people feel really uptight when inside a hospital. Be it as a patient or a visitor. For whatever reason.  
No, being here was definitely better. Even though I was alone, I wasn’t really alone.  
Does that make sense?  
  
It was near dusk when I decided to leave. Visiting hour should end soon, I suppose.  
Stroking the creases out of my skirt when standing, I bowed to the boy in bed shortly.  
It was rather rude how I left last time, so I wanted to go with peace of heart.  
But once I was in the hallway, it seems I couldn’t leave with such a feeling just yet…  
  
I met with the sullen struck mother of Dafu. She looked as if she had been standing there for a while. Her coat over her arm, rather uncomfortable.  
Had she been standing outside all this time? Didn’t she want to enter while I was inside?  
Well, it figures. I had been rather insolent.  
‘I guess this is where it ends,’ I thought to myself, ‘Pretty sure she doesn’t want me to visit him anymore.’

 “Are you… a friend of Katsuya?” She asked after a little hesitation.  
Surprisingly, I wasn’t assumed to be someone’s girlfriend this time. How many boyfriends would I end up having?  
“uhm.. something like that, I suppose.” I replied, not really knowing how to explain otherwise.  
She frowned again.  
“What’s your name, young lady?”  
“Kanon.”  
“I’m sorry to ask this of you, but…”  
ah, here it comes. ‘Please don’t visit him anymore.’

“Katsuya seems to look a lot more peaceful with you around.  
Would it be too much to ask to come see him a bit more often?”  
…….huh?  
I was taken aback for a moment. She wanted me to continue seeing him? As much as I could, even?  
I don’t really know what to think of that….  
Well, at least I got his mom’s blessing. It was okay for me to come by and work things out for myself. Whether Dafu would reply or not.  
“I’ll… see what I can do.”  
I bowed to the lady and left off, more in a rush then I wanted to be.

\----

So it was like that that I always ended up coming by.  
Once a week. Twice if I was feeling restless.  
School had started again, as if nothing had ever happened and I hadn’t mysteriously disappeared before.  
My friends were chattering about make-up and the new purse they bought. I was never the most outspoken among them.  
But I felt alienated. No one understood what had happened. And there was no way how I could explain them.

The first few days had been worse than this, though.  
People being overly worried and panicked for my sake. Pitying me and asking if I was okay a 1000 times. It was really uncomfortable.  
So this was better… even though I never really felt the same.  
Not unless I was in that hospital room.

Every time was a bit different, even if the situation didn’t change.  
Sometimes I was chatting about everything and nothing. Sometimes about the Hikari club. Or I’d sing a song.  
Sometimes I talked to one of the nurses or a doctor. His parents were there every once in a while, but rarely.  
Probably couldn’t bare the sight of their child and his lack of responding.  
And sometimes I was just dead quiet, staring at him for a while. Laying there, as if he’s asleep.  
‘Nasty times pass quicker when you’re asleep.’  
I wonder if Dafu thought so too.

Today, I dumped my bag beside the chair and sat down, without really trying to be gracious. I could feel it was a day to talk about nothings.  
“You’re really lucky to be born a boy, Dafu. Girls can be so fussy over things. They gossip all the time too.”  
I cupped my cheeks in my hands and leaned my elbows on my knees, staring at the boy in bed while pouting a bit.  
“What would you be like if you were a girl?” I asked him.  
No answer, of course. But I sometimes try to imagine what he would answer.

From the small things I’ve seen of his character before, I bet he’d blush and act flabbergasted. Dafu was no good with girls.  
I sometimes thought of him giving really silly or stupid answers and snickered about them. Didn’t say them out loud though.

“If I were a guy, I wouldn’t care what anyone thought of me. I’d run from home and climb trees and come back with scraped knees all the time.”  
As usual, there was no response from the other. But I could sort of see what his mother had meant. He looked like he didn’t feel so miserable…

“Hey, Dafu. I’ve been wondering.” I tilted my head to the side. “Your parents didn’t know of your nickname? Was it like a club thing?”  
If it was, that was a rather unsettling thought. It would mean he’d respond to the name he bore inside the factory over the name his family had given him…

“You guys are really weird.”

\---

It was one-sided conversations like that all the time. But they really made me feel better.  
I almost even started enjoying my visits and was looking forward to them.  
And you….  
After 3 months, I got the answer to how it was for you.  
  
Entering the room as usual, I saw a doctor was with Dafu. A lanky man in his mid-50’s with greying hair and weary but gentle eyes.  
He was checking up on the young teen. Which was rare, really.  
Because up until now, Dafu hadn’t made any particular progress. Or at least, I thought.

The doctor greeted me, stepping aside so I could give the boy a better look.  
The artificial oxygen device was taken off. Dafu was breathing on his own.

“We have removed the equipment, save for the most critical ones, to try and build up his strength. It is still in the trial phase, so we’ll be keeping an eye on his heart meter on our computers.  
I’ll leave you two some time alone, though. Call for someone as soon as you notice something is off.”  
I nodded, not really knowing what else to answer him and he left.

I sat down by his bed, leaning on my knees again.  
“Isn’t that nice, Dafu?” I cheered for him.  
He was making progress.  
I don’t know if that was really a good thing, though. If Dafu had a chance of waking up again, that’d be nice… but giving his parents false hopes wouldn’t be good either.

I stared at him for long, not really having anything more to say.  
Now that I finally had the chance to see his full face properly, I took my time to savor it.  
He wasn’t as good looking as Tamiya. But personally, I think he looks better than Zera.

Zera hadn’t been ‘ugly’. But it was his craze that made him very unappealing.  
Dafu, on the other hand, looked rather gentle…

I looked around the room once more.  
His mom and dad had brought some personal belongings of Dafu over.  
Nothing of value, really. But there was a pack of cards with baseball players on it.  
They were all a bit tattered. He must’ve looked at them a lot.

There were some get well cards. But they looked like they only came from obliged family members.  
After some silence, I took a breath and started to sing softly.  
  
_‘I can go on alone no more.  
the wind of time is too strong._  
_It’s what hurts,  
that you have to continue living with_  
_Please hold me like this.  
and my drenched heart_  
_In times where all changes.  
love stays the same.’_  
  
I stopped as I seemed to hear something.  
Some kind of buzzing? It sounded very faint…  
It came from Dafu.  
‘….n..n..nnn…..’  
  
I held my breath, trying to listen. Leaning over him and whipping a few strands of hair to clear my ear.  
Listening… Listening…

  
‘…n.n.nn………mm…m……….  
…..n..n.n..a……a……m.m…….’

  
It sounded really soft and weak. But I think I got it.  
“ ‘Name’? My name?”  
Dafu stayed silent, gasping for breath. It took a lot of energy out of him.  
Ah. That’s right. I never did tell him my name. What a silly thing to forget.  
I paused for a moment, increasing the distance between us again by sitting up.  
“Kanon.  
My name is Kanon.”  
  
\---

Another few weeks passed after that.  
No change.  
After the weak mumbling of one word, Dafu hadn’t made any more sounds.  
But his breathing went well. There was only sometimes need for extra oxygen.  
He’s fighting hard…

Though he was pale by nature, he didn’t look as yellowish grey as before.  
His hair had grown out a little bit. Not as long as Tamiya’s, but you could no longer really call it a crop cut.  
Another new year had started, and winter had really kicked in.  
Then again, it always felt like winter in Keiko city…  
But because it was so cold, the room where Dafu laid was all the more pleasantly warm.  
And in the first week of February, I found out I wasn’t the only one thinking so.  
  
There was a girl in his room. One I hadn’t seen before.  
About 3 or 4 years younger than me.  
At first, I thought she might be something like a relative. But there was something off about her.  
It was just a feeling, but just like the members of the Hikari Club, she seemed more adult and timid then her age should allow.

“Hello.” I spoke to her casually, in a voice how anyone would greet a child.  
She reacted a bit startled when realizing I was there.  
“h-Hello..” She replied, innocently.  
I smiled and sat down on one of the chairs in the room.  
“are you Da-.. Tabuse-kun’s family member?”  
The little girl shook her head.  
“No. uhm, my brother is-.. was a good friend of him.”

I gave her another good look and asked with almost too much confidence: “Tamiya’s?”  
The girl’s eyes lit up in surprise to hear that name and she nodded.  
“Yeah! Did you know my big brother?”  
“I did, yes…”  
The child bit her lip and turned to look at Dafu again.  
We were both quiet for a while.

It wasn’t uncomfortable like with Zera’s sibling, but I could see she was a bit anxious.  
It showed all over her expression that unlike the other, she cared very deeply for her older brother.

“…..err. Miss?” She started after a while.  
“Do you… know what happened to my brother? No one will tell me anything.” Desperation reflected in her big brown eyes.  
The black of the Hikari Club had cast it’s dye on her aswell.

“….”  
Should I tell her? Should I burden this little thing with the terrible things I know?  
Ah, that reminds me. Litchi had brought this girl, Tamako was her name, over to the hideout.  
Zera had then threatened Tamiya with her, so that he would shoot Dafu down.  
She had already been so much involved.. how much of that did she know herself?  
  
Before I figured how to ask her that question, she answered it herself, though.  
“That day… I woke up outside. And everything hurted a lot.  
And as I was crying, big brother showed up and he was holding Dafu.  
Dafu was bleeding a lot… He’s been like this ever since.  
I wish I could visit more often, but my mom and dad don’t want me to.”

I noticed how Tamako called him ‘Dafu’. I guess Tamiya was a lot more open to his family then said person had been.  
Did the Hikari Club have less influence on Tamiya?  
But even he couldn’t escape from that all-consuming darkness, could he?

“y’know… my brother had changed a lot over the past 2 years. He went out a lot and didn’t spend as much time with me anymore.  
And a lot of times, he’d just be staring off in a daze. Or act more annoyed then I had ever seen him before.  
Also, With Dafu and Kaneda, he sometimes talked of weird things I didn’t get.  
Something about lychee. And that saying they’re friends was ‘against the rules’…  
Miss, did my bro do something bad? You think he can’t go to heaven?”

I shook my head.  
“I think your brother was a good person. He even tried to save me. If it weren’t for him, I probably would not have been here.  
And also. I don’t believe there’s anyone who can’t go to heaven.  
Because the worst thing ever is to take someone’s life, right?  
So if you die yourself, I’m sure that’s the price everyone pays to repent for what they’ve done.”

The little girl pondered about it, but it put her a bit more at ease knowing her brother was okay, no matter where he was right now.  
“But then..” she mused, “What about Dafu? He’s still alive, right?  
Can he be forgiven too?”  
“……..” I gazed at the limb person on the bed in front of me.  
“I don’t know…”

\---

At school, the exams had started all around.  
I’m not really smart, so it meant I had no choice but study a lot.  
Because of that, there was little time left to go and see Dafu.  
But even so, the thing Tamako-chan had said wouldn’t leave my mind.  
‘Can he be forgiven?’  
I honestly don’t know how to respond to that.

Perhaps it depends on how he reflects on what he’s done. But as he is now, there’s no way of telling.  
Then, if I don’t know if I can forgive him, or maybe even can’t forgive, is it fair of me to visit him?

But it was exactly the period where I was too busy to do so, that I thought more and more:  
‘I want to go back there. To see him.’  
It must be very selfish of me.  
But I could hardly wait for April.  
  
Even though it was still chilly, the girls from my school were what eager to switch to their summer schooluniform.  
This, to much gratitude of the teens from the Keiko all-boys school, as they were staring down the legs’ skin that was exposed.  
Some things never change, I suppose.

But they did. They definitely do change.  
It’s a Saturday afternoon with my last exam finally finished.  
Tomorrow is Sunday. But I don’t feel like waiting for so long.  
I want to talk all day long about how stupid math and geometry are.  
I want to go to the place where I don’t have to pretend. To the only person who gets me.  
But….

As I closed in on his hospital room, I froze to the ground.  
Doctors and other hospital personal rushed in and out of the room with a brisk pace.  
Had something happened?

I couldn’t move. I just stood there, holding my breath and watching the people leave the room one by one.  
Last, Dafu’s parents left through the door. His mother was sobbing uncontrollably, pressing a handkerchief against her mouth while her husband had his arms wrapped around her protectively and was muttering words such as ‘it will be alright. It’s fine now.’ to her.

As the hall was once more deserted, I felt the senses tingle in my legs again.  
One step.  
Two steps.  
Three steps.  
As if my fingers would surely catch fire if I’d touch the wood too hard, I opened the door slowly and carefully, peering inside.  
There was Dafu.  
Still in bed.

But….


End file.
